As of Lately....

Another new blog....a very different one from the last...that is for sure. A lot has gone on over the past few months. I won't go into a whole lot of detail because quite frankly, I have just put it behind us and have tried to move ahead. The Lord has made the last 3 months so incredibly peaceful that I am in no way going to stand in the way of that. It actually has been quite shocking. At times the silence of it all makes it hurt even more, but God knows I couldn't handle any more crazy. The last 3 years have been insanity and to have relief from that is a true blessing. I forgot was peace was like. I honestly forgot what it was like to be truly happy.

 I think we all get so wrapped up in the Pinterest life-trying to do it all and be perfect-that we lose who we are. Maybe you're reading this and saying "No, that's not me" and if it's not, that is awesome! But I can be honest enough to say that I fell in love with the unattainable idea of perfection. I wanted the perfect home, the perfect kids that were always dressed perfect and had perfect manners, the happily perfect marriage...I can go on. The image that a lot of us portray on Fakebook Facebook. Does anybody feel me on this?

I have come to really know myself over the past 3 months. That's what a lot of alone time can do for a girl. Parts of it weren't pretty-parts of it still need work. I am getting there, or so I'd like to think-slowly but surely. When you get married you truly do become ONE. With that comes the good but also the bad and the ugly. When tragedy strikes and you find yourself alone again, you have to reevaluate things. You have to learn to shake the bad and the ugly, refine the good, and relearn who you are as a person. It's not easy and it takes a lot of courage to stick it out-or at least it has for me.

If you know me personally, you probably know my story. I don't feel this is the place to share the details, but I hope that I can be of encouragement to women who have gone through what I have. I hope to share bits and pieces as time goes and share how God has shown His beautiful face and pulled me through (and I mean PULLED because there were times I just threw my hands up and gave up). But like the Word says in Isaiah 61:3, He will bestow us with a crown of beauty instead of ashes and joy instead of mourning.